Chapter One: The Way Out Is Through
1. Robert Stolorow, Trauma and Human Existence: Autobiographical, Psychoanalytic, and Philosophical Reflections (New York: Routledge, 2007), p. 10.
2. The Dhammapada. Copyright, P. Lal, Writer’s Workshop, 162/92 Lake Gardens, Calcutta, India 7004S (New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 1967), p. 115.
3. Walpola Rahula, What the Buddha Taught (New York: Grove, 1974), p. 22.
4. Richard Gombrich, What the Buddha Thought (London: Equinox, 2009), p. 161.
5. Ibid.
6. Joseph Goldstein, Abiding in Mindfulness, vol. 1, Sounds True. See also Ana layo Sati patthāna, The Direct Path to Realization (Cambridge, Windhorse, 2003), p. 244
7. Richard Gombrich, What the Buddha Thought (London: Equinox, 2009), p. 166.
8. As recounted in George, Being George: George Plimpton’s Life as Told, Admired, Deplored and Envied by 200 Friends, Lovers, Aquaintances, Rivals—and a Few Unappreciative Observers. Edited by Nelson W. Aldrich, Jr. (New York: Random House, 2008), p. 89.
9. Sharon Salzberg first made me aware of this apparent contradiction.
Chapter Two: Primitive Agony
1. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, The Life of the Buddha: According to the Pali Canon (Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society, 1972/1992), pp. 32, 38.
2. Ibid., p. 39.
3. Ibid., p. 40.
4. Walpola Rahula, What the Buddha Taught (New York: Grove, 1974), p. 12.
5. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli and Bhikkhu Bodhi, trans., The Middle Length Discourses of the Buddha: A New Translation of the Majjhima Nikāya (Boston: Wisdom, 1995), MN ii, 258, p. 865.
6. D. W. Winnicott, “The Theory of the Parent-Infant Relationship,” in The Motivational Processes and the Facilitating Environment (New York: International Universities Press, 1965), p. 39, no 1.
7. Sandra Boynton, What’s Wrong, Little Pookie? (New York: Random House, 2007).
8. Robert Stolorow, Trauma and Human Existence: Autobiographical, Psychoanalytic, and Philosophical Reflections (New York: Routledge, 2007), pp. 3–4.
9. Ibid., p. 1.
10. Deborah Baker, A Blue Hand: The Beats in India (New York: Penguin, 2008), pp. 202–3.
11. Nyanaponika Thera, The Heart of Buddhist Meditation (New York: Samuel Weiser, 1962), p. 30.
12. D. W. Winnicott, Babies and Their Mothers (Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1988), pp. 36–38.
13. Krishna Das, Chants of a Lifetime (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2010), p. 172.
Chapter Three: Everything Is Burning
1. Richard Gombrich, What the Buddha Thought (London: Equinox, 2009), p. 113.
2. Ibid., p. 111.
3. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, The Life of the Buddha: According to the Pali Canon (Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society, 1972/1992), p. 64.
4. Gombrich, What the Buddha Thought, p. 112.
5. Ibid.
6. Ibid.
7. Ibid., p. 113.
8. Ibid., p. 33.
9. Robert Stolorow, Trauma and Human Existence: Autobiographical, Psychoanalytic, and Philosophical Reflections (New York: Routledge, 2007), p. 10.
10. Gombrich, What the Buddha Thought, p. 20.
11. Lucien Stryk, World of the Buddha (New York: Grove Weidenfeld, 1968), pp. 173–74.
12. Ibid., p. 174.
13. D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality (London and New York: Routledge, 1971), p. 11.
14. Michael Eigen, Contact with the Depths (London: Karnac, 2011), p. 13.
Chapter Four: The Rush to Normal
1. Sherab Chödzin Kohn, A Life of the Buddha (Boston: Shambhala, 2009), p. 7.
2. Ibid.
3. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, The Life of the Buddha: According to the Pali Canon (Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society, 1972/1992), p. 8.
4. Ibid., pp. 8–9.
5. Robert Stolorow, Trauma and Human Existence: Autobiographical, Psychoanalytic, and Philosophical Reflections (New York: Routledge, 2007), p. 16.
6. Ibid.
7. Ibid.
8. Ibid.
9. Nyanaponika Thera and Hellmuth Hecker, Great Disciples of the Buddha (Boston: Wisdom, 2003), pp. 293–300.
10. Ibid., p. 295.
11. Ibid.
12. Ibid. p. 297.
13. Ibid., p. 300.
14. Michael Eigen, The Electrified Tightrope (London: Karnac, 1993/2004), p. 133.
15. Stolorow, Trauma and Human Existence, p. 16.
Chapter Five: Dissociation
1. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness (New York: Delacorte, 1990).
2. Philip M. Bromberg, Standing in the Spaces (Hillsdale, NJ: Analytic Press, 1998), p. 190.
3. The Voice of the Buddha: The Beauty of Compassion, Volume I, translated by Gwendolyn Bays (Berkeley, CA: Dharma, 1983), p. 147.
4. Miranda Shaw, Buddhist Goddesses of India (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2006), p. 46.
5. Anahad O’Connor, “Obituary: Nicholas Hughes, 47, Sylvia Plath’s Son,” New York Times, March 21, 2009.
6. Ashva·ghosha, Life of the Buddha, trans. Patrick Olivelle (New York: New York University Press, 2008), p. 73.
7. Bromberg, Standing in the Spaces, p. 6.
8. Philip M. Bromberg, Awakening the Dreamer (Mahwah, NJ: Analytic Press, 2006), p. 33.
9. Ibid.
10. Ibid., p. 7.
11. Ashva·ghosha, Life of the Buddha, p. 41.
12. D. W. Winnicott, “Primitive Emotional Development” (1945), in Collected Papers: Through Paediatrics to Psycho-Analysis (New York: Basic Books, 1958), p. 154.
13. Ashva·ghosha, Life of the Buddha, p. 11.
14. D. W. Winnicott, “The Newborn and His Mother” (1964), in Babies and Their Mothers (Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1988), pp. 30–31.
15. D. W. Winnicott, “Postscript: D.W.W. on D.W.W.” (1967), in Psychoanalytic Explorations (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1989), p. 580.
16. Ibid.
17. The Minor Anthologies of the Pali Canon: Part II, Verses of Uplift (Udana), translated by F. L. Woodward (London: Pali Text Society, 1948), p. 57.
Chapter Six: Curiosity
1. Michael Eigen, Eigen in Seoul: Volume One: Madness and Murder (London: Karnac, 2010), p. 5.
2. Ibid.
3. Ibid., p. 9.
Chapter Seven: Going Forth
1. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, The Life of the Buddha: According to the Pali Canon (Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society, 1972/1992), p. 48.
2. Ibid.
3. Ibid., p. 49.
4. Johan Barendregt, “Phobias and Related Fears,” trans. Kevin Cook, chapter 13 of De Zielenmarkt, Over Psychotherapie in Alle Ernst (The Soul-Market, Psychotherapy in All Seriousness) (Boom: Meppel, 1982), p. 5.
5. Ibid., p. 8.
6. D. W. Winnicott, “Additional Note on Psycho-Somatic Disorder,” in Psycho-Analytic Explorations (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1989), p. 116.
7. Ibid., pp. 116–17.
8. Ibid.
9. Michael Eigen, Eigen in Seoul: Volume One: Madness and Murder (London: Karnac, 2010), p. 29.
10. D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality (London and New York: Routledge, 1971), p. 84.
11. Roberto Calasso, Ka: Stories of the Mind and Gods of India (New York: Vintage, 1998), p. 280.
12. Robert A. F. Thurman, Essential Tibetan Buddhism (New York: HarperCollins, 1996), p. 70.
13. Ñāṇamoli, Life of the Buddha, pp. 17–180.
14. Winnicott, Playing and Reality, p. 86.
15. Karen Armstrong, Buddha (London: Penguin, 2001), p. 66.
16. Ibid.
17. The Voice of the Buddha: The Beauty of Compassion Volume I, translated by Gwendolyn Bays. (Berkeley, CA: Dharma, 1983), p. 204.
18. Ñāṇamoli, Life of the Buddha, p. 21.
19. Sherry Turkle, “The Flight from Conversation,” New York Times, April 21, 2012.
20. Ñāṇamoli, Life of the Buddha, p. 21.
21. Ibid.
22. John S. Strong, The Buddha: A Short Biography (Oxford: Oneworld, 2001), p. 68.
23. Armstrong, Buddha, p. 73.
24. Winnicott, Playing and Reality, p. 86.
Chapter Eight: Feelings Matter
1. Richard Gombrich, What the Buddha Thought (London: Equinox, 2009), p. 62.
2. Ibid., p. 11.
3. Anālayo, Satipatthāna: The Direct Path to Realization (Cambridge: Windhorse, 2003), p. 164.
4. D. W. Winnicott, Babies and Their Mothers (Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1986), p. 86.
5. D. W. Winnicott, “Communicating and Not Communicating Leading to a Study of Certain Opposites,” in The Maturational Processes and the Facilitating Environment (New York: International Universities Press, 1965), p. 186.
6. Peter Fonagy, Attachment Theory and Psychoanalysis (New York: Other Press, 2001), pp. 170–71.
Chapter Nine: Implicit Memory
1. Robert Stolorow, Trauma and Human Existence: Autobiographical, Psychoanalytic, and Philosophical Reflections (New York: Routledge, 2007), p. 10.
2. Ibid., p. 20.
3. Ibid.
4. Boston Change Process Study Group, “Forms of Relational Meaning: Issues in the Relations Between the Implicit and Reflective-Verbal Domains,” Psychoanalytic Dialogues 18 (2008): 125–48.
5. Ibid., p. 128.
6. Philip M. Bromberg, Standing in the Spaces (Hillsdale, NJ: Analytic Press, 1998), p. 16.
7. D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality (London and New York: Routledge, 1971), p. 47.
8. Ibid.
9. Ibid., p. 81.
10. Ibid., p. 82.
11. Ibid., p. 71.
12. Ibid., p. 65.
13. Ibid., pp. 82–83.
14. Karlen Lyons-Ruth, “The Interface Between Attachment and Intersubjectivity: Perspective from the Longitudinal Study of Disorganized Attachment,” Psychoanalytic Inquiry 26, no. 4 (2006): 612.
15. D. W. Winnicott, “Fear of Breakdown,” in Psycho-Analytic Explorations (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1989), pp. 90–91.
16. Ibid., p. 92.
Chapter Ten: Dreams of the Buddha
1. Serinity Young, Dreaming in the Lotus (Boston: Wisdom, 1999), p. 25.
2. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, The Life of the Buddha: According to the Pali Canon (Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society, 1972/1992), p. 22.
3. Boston Change Process Study Group, “Forms of Relational Meaning: Issues in the Relations Between the Implicit and Reflective-Verbal Domains,” Psychoanalytic Dialogues 18 (2008): 125–48.
4. Karlen Lyons-Ruth, “The Interface Between Attachment and Intersubjectivity: Perspective from the Longitudinal Study of Disorganized Attachment,” Psychoanalytic Inquiry 26, no. 4 (2006): 613.
5. Ibid., p. 602.
6. Ibid., p. 604.
7. Michael Eigen, Faith and Transformation (Eigen in Seoul, Vol. 2) (London: Karnac, 2011), p. 20.
8. Bonnie Clearwater, ed., West Coast Duchamp (Miami Beach, FL: Grassfield, 1991), p. 107.
9. Philip M. Bromberg, Awakening the Dreamer (Mahwah, NJ: Analytic Press, 2006), p. 120.
10. Lyons-Ruth, “Interface Between Attachment and Intersubjectivity,” p. 607.
11. Ibid.
12. Ibid., p. 608.
13. Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart (New York: Bantam, 1993), p. 28.
14. Ibid.
15. Ibid., p. 29.
16. Jeremy Safran, ed., Psychoanalysis and Buddhism: An Unfolding Dialogue (Boston: Wisdom, 2003), p. 1.
17. D. W. Winnicott, Playing and Reality (London and New York: Routledge, 1971), p. 92.
Chapter Eleven: Reflections of Mind
1. Jack Kornfield, ed., The Buddha Is Still Teaching: Contemporary Buddhist Wisdom (Boston & London: Shambhala, 2010), p. 76 (extract entitled “Who is Bothering Whom?” quoting Ajahn Chah).
2. Anālayo, Satipatthāna: The Direct Path to Realization (Cambridge: Windhorse, 2003), p. 3
3. John S. Strong, The Buddha: A Short Biography (Oxford: Oneworld, 2001), p. 70.
4. Stephen Batchelor, Living with the Devil (New York: Riverhead, 2004), p. 21.
5. Strong, The Buddha, p. 71.
6. Batchelor, Living with the Devil, p. 19.
7. Ibid., p. 18.
8. Ibid., p. 19.
9. Karen Armstrong, Buddha (New York: Penguin, 2001), pp. 90–91.
10. Miranda Shaw, Buddhist Goddesses of India (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2006), p. 21.
11. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, The Life of the Buddha: According to the Pali Canon (Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society, 1972/1992), p. 27.
12. The Voice of the Buddha, The Beauty of Compassion, Volume II, translated by Gwendolyn Bays, (Berkeley: Dharma, 1983), p. 482.
13. Shaw, Buddhist Goddesses of India, p. 20.
14. Ibid., p. 25.
15. Strong, The Buddha, p. 72.
16. Batchelor, Living with the Devil, p. 6.
17. Robert Stolorow, Trauma and Human Existence: Autobiographical, Psychoanalytic, and Philosophical Reflections (New York: Routledge, 2007), p. 20.
18. Ibid.
19. Ibid., p. 16.
20. Sherab Chödzin Kohn, A Life of the Buddha (Boston: Shambhala, 2009), pp. 32–33.
21. Batchelor, Living with the Devil, p. 10.
22. Lucien Stryk, World of the Buddha (New York: Grove Weidenfeld, 1968), p. 271.
23. Robert Thurman, Essential Tibetan Buddhism (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1995), p. 99.
Chapter Twelve: A Relational Home
1. Robert Stolorow, Trauma and Human Existence: Autobiographical, Psychoanalytic, and Philosophical Reflections (New York, Routledge, 2007), p .10.
2. Personal communication; See Joseph LeDoux, The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1996). See also Joseph LeDoux, Lizabeth Romanski, and Andrew Xagoraris, “Indelibility of Subcortical Emotional Memories,” Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, vol. 1 (July 1989): 238–43.
3. Adam Phillips, Missing Out: In Praise of the Unlived Life (London: Hamish Hamilton, 2012), p. 35.
4. Ibid.
5. Helen Davey, “Wounded but Resilient: The Impact of Trauma,” Psychology Today, October 30, 2011.
6. Ibid.
7. Robert Thurman, Essential Tibetan Buddhism (San Francisco: Harper San Francisco, 1995), pp. 209–10.
8. Storolowe, Trauma and Human Existence, p. 16.
9. The Blue Cliff Record, translated by Thomas Cleary and J.C. Cleary (Boston and London: Shambhala, 2005), p. 176.
10. Stephen Batchelor, Living with the Devil (New York: Riverhead, 2004), p. 55.
11. Ibid., p. 574.
12. Adam Phillips, Winnicott (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1988), p. 29.